Tuesday, October 1, 2013

What happened??

At the end of the day when my kids are tucked in I sometimes sit back and wonder, "What happened? What did I do today?  Did I spend any time really listening to my kids or just having fun with them?"  And I always determine to live differently the next day, and sometimes I really do.

But so many days I wake up and I'm running the minute my feet hit the floor.  There's always something to clean or a status to be updated or a text or e-mail to return or a meal to be prepared.  And again at the end of the day I wonder, "What happened?"

How do I get off this treadmill when there are 4 other people on it with me?

And I want to live more simply, but the masses of stuff I've aquired is like a lead ballon everywhere I look.  And it weighs and it suffocates and I want to live free but how do I do it?  Because I read my Bible and I pray and I read books and I try to live with the attitude of gratitude and I still feel the same.  And I know I can't live based on feelings, but sometimes I want to feel free and really be free.

Deep. Breath.