Today I can be likened to a toddler throwing a huge temper tantrum.  You wouldn't know it from the outside.  But my Heavenly Father who know every thought can see it on the inside.

This morning I read in Matthew 20 where Jesus tells the disciples that, "whoever want to become great among you must be your servant"-v. 26  At 7:00 a.m. I said, "Yes Lord, that's what I want.  Make me a servant."  I even told my kids about it and we prayed it on the way to school.

Well, it's all of 2:00 p.m. and I'm already stomping my feet and saying, "Why me Lord?"  Or, "Why not me Lord?  You do everything for everyone but me!"  Oh Lord have mercy on me!  What a whiner I am.

I really do want to be like Jesus.  I want to be the servant He calls me to be.  I am impatient and want what I want when I want it.  And sometimes don't even know what I want, but I want it anyway.  I am so like a child.  In the middle of my little meltdown I opened my Bible straight to a very familiar page that is highlighted for a reason.

"Woe to those who quarrel with their Maker, those who are nothing but potsherds among the potsherds on the ground.  This is what the Lord say- the Holy One of Israel, and its Maker: do you question me about my children, or give me orders about the work of my hands?" -Isaiah 45:9,11

He has an answer for everything.  He made me and is making me into the woman I'm called to be.  Thank you Lord for not giving up on me.  Your grace still amazes me.

I stepped into the world of crafting today, all for the love of my daughters.  Especially Lola.  I'm pretty sure one of her love languages is arts and crafts.  I'm happy to say it went well and I really enjoyed it!

just a glimpse of the supply table

so happy with the finished product

Today I was cleaning out my bookshelves and came across a few old journals.  I love journals!  I love writing things down.  It's like therapy for me to get thoughts and feelings out on a piece of paper.  I especially like writing down prayers.  It keeps me focused.

I flipped through and read some of the entries.  Some made me laugh, some made me cringe, and some made me feel embarrassed.  Most of all, reading them made me feel like I was on a roller coaster.  One day I would be high, happy and praising the Lord.  And the next entry I'd be low, crying out or throwing a fit right there on the page.

I put them away and started to think, "what is wrong with me?!"  How can I be so up can down?  I'm a mess and my journals prove it.  I considered throwing them away, but I couldn't.  They're from when my kids were born and there are great answers to prayer in there.  Just as my thoughts were beginning to get the best of me the word "Psalms" popped into my head.

Immediately I was comforted.  Even David, the man after God's own heart, had highs and lows.  And he wrote them down too!  Psalm 21:1 says, "The king rejoices in your strength, Lord.  How great is his joy in the victories you give!"  Only to be followed by Psalm 22:1, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, so far from my cries of anguish?" 


It's nice to know I'm not the only one.  God knows us better than we'll ever know ourselves.  He loves us on our lowest day just as much as he loves us on our highest day.  This is a mystery to me, but I am forever grateful.

The person behind the camera

For Christmas I asked for a new camera.  I have a Canon Rebel Xti, and I LOVE it!  I've learned so much with it and it's just a great camera.  However, I don't use it much.  I do at home, but when I consider bringing it out and about I hesitate.  It's big and I already have my hands full with 3 kids. More often then not I would opt for leaving it behind and decide to just use my iPod camera.  I decided it was time to get a camera I would actually want to bring with me places.

I ended up getting another camera from Christmas The one I asked for.  Someone saw me with it and said, "Oh, you downgraded."  Well, I guess you could look at it that way.  If it's a matter of size, then yes I downgraded.  My new camera cannot swap out lenses and does not have some features that my Rebel has.  But I consider it an upgrade.  Because I'm taking picture again.  I actually bring my camera places and I can just toss it in my purse without feeling like I need to bring my extra-large purse.

I once read that it's not a good camera that takes good pictures, it's a good photographer.  I agree.  It all comes down to the person behind the camera.

Here are a few shots I took with the new camera.  I think they're just as good as anything I've taken with my Rebel.  Although, that's coming from a professional amateur.

Lola at the Science center

Ferry

snoozing with bunny ears

Snow Beauty

Back to normal....

Last night I said to Matt, "Well, tomorrow we go back to the normal routine."  He responded, "Ya, whatever that is."  Ha!  So true.  With Christmas and Winter break, New Years, M.L.K. Jr. day and a week of snow, the past 6 weeks have been anything but normal.

But seriously, I really was anticipating that today would be the beginning of the "normal routine".  I had no idea that my day would include crawling into this truck to salvage any items that may have survived the accident.

My alarm went off at 5:45 a.m.  I wanted to hit snooze, like I often do. But the heat was on, the house was warm and I sensed the Holy Spirit saying, "GET UP!!"  So I did.  A little less that an hour later I heard my phone vibrate.  I assumed it was just a text message.  But it kept vibrating and I realized someone was calling.  It was Mom.  I answered and I could tell right away something was wrong.  I listened as she told me Dan was in a car accident.  He left a voice mail that he was probably headed for Harbor View.  But when she called they said there was not a patient by his name.  She said, "I don't know what to do! I need your help!"

Now right before she called I sensed the Lord say, "Go turn on your computer"  I questioned for a second, but I'm trying to listen more and act on what I hear.  So when she called I had my computer right in front of me, making it very fast and easy to look up and call area hospitals- Thank you Lord!

I got a prompt, "Call Harbor View again."  I called and asked if they had someone by his name.  They did! Thank you Jesus!!  I headed over to pick her up, passing a 4 car accident on the way that closed down part of Highway 16!  Not a great day for driving apparently.

When we got there he was in x-ray.  When they wheeled him in I was shocked!  No scrapes, no bruises, no cuts, no blood.  He looked... normal.  We sat and waited for results of the CT scan and x-rays and told us what he remembered about the accident.  Hitting the ice and the car spinning out of control.  Then rolling and thinking, "I'm about to meet my Maker."  The car stopped... upside down. He realized he didn't hurt but needed to get out of the car, so he kicked out the window. How very Jason Bourne of him, I joked.

By 11:30 or so the doctor came in to tell us he was free to go!  Broken bones? None.  Head injuries? None. AMAZING!!!  INCREDIBLE!!!  TRULY MIRACULOUS!!!

I keep thinking, "Maybe the accident wasn't as bad as I thought."  But the more I think about it and look at the picture of the mangled truck I realize it was as bad as I thought.  By the grace of God Dan is alive and walked away with hardly a scratch!

A normal day...not exactly.  A miraculous day...YES INDEED!!

Getting started

I once had a conversation with someone who said, "If you're going to blog you need to do it for yourself".  So, that's what I've decided to do.  And if anyone is blessed by it or gets anything out of it then Praise the Lord for that!  


Why,"Waking up"?  I recently read the book, "Same Kind of Different as Me" by Ron Hall and Denver Moore.  A truly INCREDIBLE book.  At one part in the book a woman is serving food to a homeless man.  She notices that in spite of this mans foul smell and the dried vomit in his beard, he is smiling.  So she asks him, "Why are you so happy!"  To which he replies, "I woke up!  And that's reason enough to be happy!"


What a great perspective!  I thought about that.  If I wake up to another day then God has something planned and more He wants to accomplish through me, because "All the days ordained for me were written in His book before one of them came to pass." Psalm 139:16.