Life is a mess

Today as I was getting ready for the day my 4 year old daughter made a mess of clothes and blankets in my closet.  I snapped at her and said, "I'm sick and tired of cleaning up messes you make."  She ran out of the closet, feelings hurt.  Immediately I was convicted and heard the Lord say, "How many times have I had to clean up your messes." Truth.

I apologized and asked my daughters forgiveness.  I thought about how life is messy and probably always will be... until the day I die.  Real life does not look like a Potter Barn magazine page.  It's full of activity and movement and mess  and action.  And if it were any other way I'd be bored out of my mind.  

Thank you Jesus for the mess of life and that you are always right there beside me.

Bottle it up

I never want to forget today.  The kids and the cousins and I took a walk to get a free sucker at the Metropolitan Market.  The we headed for the playground.  Just as we arrived it started to pour.  We played anyway.  They giggled and laughed as the splashed down the slide and slipped off the monkey bars.  We didn't stay long.

As we walked home I thought my heart might burst with joy!  We walked through my old neighborhood.  Streets I've walked a million times.  We passed by my best friends old house.  I watched my almost 7 year-old daughter hold her 2 year-old cousins hand.  She looked so grown up. They jumped over cracks and into puddles.  Dandelions were picked.  Sticks were grabbed.  The was running and skipping and twirling.

Never in my life have I wanted to bottle up a moment in time so badly.  It was so simple.

Awkward moments at Starbucks

I went to Starbucks today and saw someone I knew.  By saw I mean, when I first saw her I didn't recognize her, then I squinted my eyes and awkwardly tilted my head forward to get a better look. At this time the lady who was sitting at the table with her noticed me staring (and probably thought I was a total weirdo).  You would think at this point in time I would say something to the lady, but no.  I just looked down and pretended to look at the paint samples in front of me. I'm pretty sure at one point I caught the person I knew (yes it really was her) glance up at me and quickly look back down.  This gave me the impression that she wasn't super interested in talking to me, so I just kept my eyes on my paint samples and left about 10 minutes later.

It's so weird.  Why was it so awkward?  At one point this woman was a very important person in my life.  I looked forward to seeing her and talking with her every week.  We had even talked about her mentoring me at one time.  Now we're avoiding each other at Starbucks.

All I had to do was say "Hi".

Candid Conversations

Sometimes candid conversations with good friends are more refreshing that a church service.  Let's just be honest with each other.  Nobody wants to be friends with a perfect person.  My best friends are the people who know my crap, and I know theirs.  We all have junk we try to hide and we wish no one would ever find out about.  But when we get the courage to tell someone about it there is such a freedom that comes with it.  It's like saying, "This is the real me.  Do you still love me?"  And the REAL friend will still love you...junk in the trunk and all.

Peace

Strange Times

These are strange times.  I'm not reading as much.  Well I guess I am.  Mostly Mother Teresa.  Mother Teresa will mess with you.  She will take the "West" right out of you.  She gets right down to business telling you what's important, and what isn't.  And when I read it I believe it.

She makes me want to live in my 1100 square foot house forever.  What's the point in chasing a bigger house when there are people all over the world hungry, dying, suffering from atrocious diseases completely cut off from society; unwanted, unloved?

I put Mother Teresa down and I'm immediately confronted with Christmas.  With the 20 people I need to buy gifts for.  I'm face to face with my own greed and I think about the $200 boots I want.  Oh Lord help me.

No such thing as normal

I was talking with a dear friend last night.  She was telling about life and it's happenings and she said, "What's wrong with my family?  Why can't we just be normal?"

I laughed and said, "There's no such thing as normal and there's no such thing as a perfect family."

Do you know why there's no such thing as a perfect family?  Because families are made up of people.  Selfish, flawed, imperfect people.  All of whom live in a world full of sin and in need of the grace of God every second of every day.

As for normal, who really wants to be normal?  Dictionary.com defines normal as "conforming to the standard or the common type; usual; regular".  Oh ick!!  Who wants to be any of those?  God is creative!!  Every single person completely unique.  What a boring life this would be if we were all "normal" and the same.

Evening at the Playground

Setting sun

Barely breeze

Long shadows

Days like these

Air is fresh

Air is warm

Peace surrounds

Smiles form

Daughters playing

laughing, climbing

Living in His perfect timing