I'm running away

Today all 3 of my kids ran away from home.  While I was in the shower my son said through the door, "Lola's running away and I'm going with her to make sure she's safe".  "How cute" I thought.  See, Lola has been saying she's going to run away for the past week or so.  Every time she gets mad about something she gives me the "I'm running away" line.  So naturally I didn't really think they were running away when Jackson said what he said.

A few minutes after getting out of the shower I noticed how quiet it was.  I started looking around.  And a minute later Vivien ran in saying she needed a band aid for her toe.  I asked her where she was when she hurt her toe.  "On the road" she told me.  At this point I realized my kids were in fact walking down our road... running away from home.

We walked down our driveway, at the bottom of which I found a little pair of undies. A clue.  We walked about a quarter of a mile when we finally caught up with them, wagon packed with stuffed animals and crackers.

I wasn't sure how I felt.  I wasn't scared for some reason.  I just don't scare easily when it comes to my kids.  I always feel like they're going to be OK.  Honestly I was a little proud of their confidence.  However, I was frustrated, exasperated and angry at the same time.

A few hours later while sitting at a memorial service when I heard the "Still Small Voice" say, "How many times have you run away from home?"  Oh how true it is!!  I am constantly running away from my Heavenly Father.  He asks me to do something, I ignore Him.  He tells me to turn left, I go right.  Something goes wrong, I blame Him.  I scream, I cry, I yell "I'm running away!!"

A quote from my journal, "Sometimes I want to run really fast and really far" -July 19, 2012

So I tell my kids all of this.  I share my heart and I extend grace and I thank the Lord for His grace.  No matter how many times I run, He always welcomes me back with open arms

I cannot say that this week of the "Stess/Prayer" challenge was filled with long periods of in depth intentional prayer and kicking up my feet for times of rest.  I can say that I had ample opportunity to call on the Lord for His guidance and His peace.  And when I called, He answered.  

I had the opportunity to drive a wonderful friend to doctor's appointment.  After we got back to her house we were blessed with an incredible and unexpected time of prayer.  It was real and candid and I could feel the Holy Spirit in that place. AWESOME!

On Tuesday afternoon I found myself driving my husband to the ER due to shortness of breath.  While there he had an abnormal EKG.  We had an opportunity to stress out or call on the Lord's peace.  God provided amazing peace and we were blessed to go home that night, with Matt being completely healthy.  

The week did not turn out like I thought it would.  I found myself in quite a few situations where I had to choose between worry or trust.  Where I could choose frustration because things weren't going my way, or choose to believe that God truly does have all my days ordained.

I've got a lot of work to do.  This challenge is going to take longer than a week... longer than a month.  Probably my whole life.

So7: On to the next

Last day of the clothes challenge.  Feeling relieved and grateful for these past 2 weeks.  Life is simple when I'm not confronted with so many choices.  I realized that I had a lot of clothes that I rarely wore, even still it was hard getting rid of them.  I'm the type of person that thinks, "Wait!  I might wear that if I ever go camping."  Let's be real.  My family doesn't camp.

Tomorrow I'll start the "Stress Challenge", which will be more of a prayer challenge for me.  I'm not sure what it will fully look like yet.  The one thing I know for sure is that I will devote the first hour of my day to prayer.  That hour will start at 5:00 a.m. on weekdays and at 6:00 a.m. on weekends (Lord help me that is early)  But if I don't do it then it won't happen.

Summer of 7: A LONG way to go

This 2 week clothes challenge is almost finished.  Overall, it's been a pretty good experience.  In doing this experiment I'm trying to pass on some valuable lessons to my kids.

A few weeks ago a girlfriend gave me some boxes of hand-me-downs for my girls.  There were at least  20 pairs of jeans and so many shirts, dresses, coats, etc...  Way more than we needed.  My girls were ecstatic at the chance to pick out some "new" clothes.  But I made it clear that we would only be picking a few things, mostly things we had need of, and the rest we would pass on.  They were great about it.  They picked some things, more than I would have liked, and I snuck some of the extras out when they were asleep.

So we still had a lot of clothes to pass on.  I really want to start being more thoughtful about where I'm donating.  I contacted my kids' school to see if there were any families in need of girls clothing.  The counselor let me know that there was a family in need, with a girl size 4T and a girl size 8.  I looked through all the clothes and there were a few items in each size, but not a ton.

I really wanted to be helpful to this family, so it was time to put my money where my mouth is.  I don't want to just give my hand-me-downs, which were really hand-me-downs to me in the first place.  I want these girls to feel special.  I headed to Target to pick out a few outfits for them.

As I was shopping I found 2 dresses.  One was cute, but the other was SUPER cute!  I went back and forth between the two because the super cute dress was $2 more.  TWO DOLLARS!!!!  I could probably find $2 in my couch cushions or under the seats of my car.  How could I even hesitate?  This is where I'm at people.  I still have a LONG way to go.

I finally ended up buying the super cute dress.  But it took a whisper from the Spirit saying, "If you were buying for you're own daughter wouldn't you spend the extra two dollars?"

"Love your neighbor as yourself" -Matthew 22:39

Lord help me!

Summer of 7: Day 3 of clothes

Day 3 has been pretty good. Took the kids swimming at the Y and wore my swimsuit.  I weighed my options: Cheat a little and have an enjoyable day with the kids or be a legal eagle and go stir crazy in the house and break my promise to Viv.  I voted to cheat.  Everyone is happier because of it.

On a good note, the tight jeans from yesterday are much more comfortable today.

One interesting part of the day was doing the Muscle Toning class at the Y wearing my Converse.  I mean, it could have been worse.  But boy was I ever thankful that I usually have the option of wearing some nice running shoes.  The Converse weren't terrible.  But they were very flat and my toes were all squished.  Plus, this is my vain side coming out, I looked a little ridiculous.

In the end the shoe thing is meaningless.  There are children in parts of the world that walk many miles every day with bare feet just to get clean water or food or to get to school.

Lord help me to stop thinking about myself so much!