God has a sense of humor

Yesterday my kids went back to school after a week long break.  When I went to pick them up I asked one of them how the day was.  They said, "not good".  Then proceeded to tell me about getting in trouble at recess.  This is not this kids first run in with the recess police, so I kinda know the drill.  They keep telling me all the details of why it wasn't fair and how mad they are.  I see the Principal and he catches my eye and gives me the "We need to talk" look.  I know the look well because I've gotten that look more times in the past 3 years than I care to count.

OK, but then it gets funny.  We're driving home and talking about the whole incident, and we clearly disagree with one another.  I'm really not upset because honestly, I've been through similar scenarios with this kid for what feels like a zillion times.  The radio is on some random channel and the tune suddenly catches my attention.  The song was "My Life" by Billy Joel!  Do you know that song?  If you don't you should definitely look it up.  It was a favorite of mine when I was a kid.  The timing of it was so funny because my kid is basically telling me they know best and nobody else does so just butt out.  And the lyrics of the song go:

"I don't care what you say anymore this is my life.  Go ahead with you're own life, leave me alone"

Hahaha!!  I couldn't help but laugh and turn up the radio and sing.  And when my kiddo heard the lyrics they said, "Yes!! Exactly!  This is exactly what I am saying!"  

It was just hilarious and perfect timing.  It lightened the mood and we needed that, and I don't think it was an accident.  Good one God.

Hugs are not just for 'Goodnight'

Tonight when I gave my daughter a hug goodnight, I realized it was one of 2 times I had given her a hug all day long.  The other time was when she woke up... at least I think I gave her a hug when she woke up.  There was a twinge of pain in my heart.

Then I flashed to how many times my hands had touched a dish to wash or a rag to clean something today.  Too many times to count.  It's just sad.

My kids are 4,7, and almost 10.  4,7, and almost 10 happened over night.  And in 10 years they will be 14,17, and almost 20, and I'm guessing it will happen over night.  So I won't browse Pinterest or Houzz or any other thing to make my home pretty or cute.  I'll choose to leave dishes in the sink and dried milk stuck to the table.  I'll feel glad when my girls fight about who gets to sit next to me at the table.  Because pretty soon I'll be the one following my kids around wishing they had enough time for me.

Because hugs are not just for 'Goodnight'.  They are for all day long and they're more important than a tidy house.



P.S. I'm pretty sure I've written a dozen blogs with this same message.  I guess this is one of those lessons I have to learn over and over.

A Real-Life Conversation with a 9 Year-old

Jackson: Don't you ever wish you had less kids?

Me: No, not at all.  Why?

Jackson: Because aren't we kind of annoying sometimes?

Me: Yes, but everyone is annoying sometimes.  Don't you think I'm annoying sometimes?

Jackson: VERY!!


Don't ask a question you don't want to know the answer to.

I'm running away

Today all 3 of my kids ran away from home.  While I was in the shower my son said through the door, "Lola's running away and I'm going with her to make sure she's safe".  "How cute" I thought.  See, Lola has been saying she's going to run away for the past week or so.  Every time she gets mad about something she gives me the "I'm running away" line.  So naturally I didn't really think they were running away when Jackson said what he said.

A few minutes after getting out of the shower I noticed how quiet it was.  I started looking around.  And a minute later Vivien ran in saying she needed a band aid for her toe.  I asked her where she was when she hurt her toe.  "On the road" she told me.  At this point I realized my kids were in fact walking down our road... running away from home.

We walked down our driveway, at the bottom of which I found a little pair of undies. A clue.  We walked about a quarter of a mile when we finally caught up with them, wagon packed with stuffed animals and crackers.

I wasn't sure how I felt.  I wasn't scared for some reason.  I just don't scare easily when it comes to my kids.  I always feel like they're going to be OK.  Honestly I was a little proud of their confidence.  However, I was frustrated, exasperated and angry at the same time.

A few hours later while sitting at a memorial service when I heard the "Still Small Voice" say, "How many times have you run away from home?"  Oh how true it is!!  I am constantly running away from my Heavenly Father.  He asks me to do something, I ignore Him.  He tells me to turn left, I go right.  Something goes wrong, I blame Him.  I scream, I cry, I yell "I'm running away!!"

A quote from my journal, "Sometimes I want to run really fast and really far" -July 19, 2012

So I tell my kids all of this.  I share my heart and I extend grace and I thank the Lord for His grace.  No matter how many times I run, He always welcomes me back with open arms

Enjoy

Today I had a wiser older woman say to me, "Enjoy your kids".  The way she said it and the way she looked at me pierced through right to the core.  She is a smart and wonderful woman and I felt like she was looking right through me and knew that I was most definitely not enjoying them at this particular time.

It seems like no matter how many times I hear things like this, it just doesn't stick.  I really try to enjoy them and live in the now.  But then I get selfish and life happens and then blah.  I wish "Future Brianna" could visit me and say something to make me understand.

For now it's 9:00 and kids keep getting out of bed.  And I'm trying to enjoy them while they test my patience.

Treats?

Sometimes I give my kids treats.  When I give my kids treats I sometimes set unrealistic expectations that the rest of the entire day (or perhaps my entire life) should go smoothly.  They should act perfectly, never fighting, never talking back.  They should practically raise themselves, but make me look good while they're doing it.  I know it's wrong, but still I allow my mind to go here.

Maybe I still have vacation brain.  Maybe I just need a good hard slap across the face to snap me out of it.  Maybe I'm just lazy and don't want to face the cold hard facts: raising great human beings is hard work.  It involves sweat, tears, and a good of sense of humor.

It may be time to lay off the "treats" for a while.  They don't seem to be treating anyone well lately.

Bare foot for water

The kids and I just went for a walk down our road.  A few minutes into it I said, "Let's pretend that we are walking to get water for our family.  So many people today will really have to do this."  They were game and we kept walking.  A minute later I said, "Ya know, most of the people who have to walk for water have to walk barefoot.  Let's take our shoes off so we can really try to feel what it would be like."  They loved this idea!  So we all took our shoes off and headed to our destination.

The first thing I thought is, "Man am I a wimp!"  Rocks poked into my feet and I had to walk slow and I'm sure I looked extremely silly.  We probably only walked about half a mile there and back.  Not far at all.  When we did reach our house I was so happy to to step onto the nice soft grass.  Let's also keep in perspective that neither me or my kids actually had to carry any water.

 This wasn't anything big or special, just an attempt to teach lessons in the midst of everyday life.  To keep in perspective that we live in a BIG world.

If you want to read a real story about an amazing woman walking for water visit this link:

www.charitywater.org/projects/fromthefield/uganda.php

Fun day.  Planted mint, jumped on the trampoline with the kids (not sure this is a good idea after having 3 kids, considering I need to get off every 5 minutes to go pee), talked with neighbors, made s'mores.  I feel a bit guilty for having such a fun and simple day, knowing that there are so many who are hurting.  So many going without.  Do you think there is a balance to be found in enjoying what you have, while at the same time remembering and actively helping those who have great need?  Perhaps it's found through gratefulness and generosity.

I'm finding that I'm enjoying my kids so much more now that I am making a very intentional effort to teach them to contribute and take responsibility.  This summer they are taking turns making and serving lunch.  It's fun to see them take pride and ownership of it.  I'm hoping for some positive changes over summer break.  So far so good.

Day 1: 5:00 a.m. is really early

It's day 1 of the Summer of 7 stress/prayer challenge.  I'm officially just going to call it the "Prayer Challenge", because that's what I'm focusing on.

I was suppose to get up at 5:00 a.m. and guess what I found out... 5:00 a.m. is VERY early!  And I confess, I hit snooze and slept until 5:39.  It did feel good once I got up to sit and listen and read my Bible and enjoy quiet and sunshine and coffee and Jesus.

I decided that for this week I will pause at 7 specific times each day to pray for 7 specific things.

8:15 a.m. - Kids/Education

10:15 a.m. - Poor and oppressed

12:15 p.m. - The Fatherless

2:15 p.m. - Mothers around the world

4:15 p.m. - My marriage

6:15 p.m. - Church (my local church and the church as a whole)

8:15 p.m. - Outreach Team (A ministry I just joined)


P.S.  I was very glad this morning to put on different clothes and I was most excited to put on some big earrings.  Funny thing,  most of the clothes I'm wearing are clothes from the 7 challenge except my shirt.

Summer of 7: A LONG way to go

This 2 week clothes challenge is almost finished.  Overall, it's been a pretty good experience.  In doing this experiment I'm trying to pass on some valuable lessons to my kids.

A few weeks ago a girlfriend gave me some boxes of hand-me-downs for my girls.  There were at least  20 pairs of jeans and so many shirts, dresses, coats, etc...  Way more than we needed.  My girls were ecstatic at the chance to pick out some "new" clothes.  But I made it clear that we would only be picking a few things, mostly things we had need of, and the rest we would pass on.  They were great about it.  They picked some things, more than I would have liked, and I snuck some of the extras out when they were asleep.

So we still had a lot of clothes to pass on.  I really want to start being more thoughtful about where I'm donating.  I contacted my kids' school to see if there were any families in need of girls clothing.  The counselor let me know that there was a family in need, with a girl size 4T and a girl size 8.  I looked through all the clothes and there were a few items in each size, but not a ton.

I really wanted to be helpful to this family, so it was time to put my money where my mouth is.  I don't want to just give my hand-me-downs, which were really hand-me-downs to me in the first place.  I want these girls to feel special.  I headed to Target to pick out a few outfits for them.

As I was shopping I found 2 dresses.  One was cute, but the other was SUPER cute!  I went back and forth between the two because the super cute dress was $2 more.  TWO DOLLARS!!!!  I could probably find $2 in my couch cushions or under the seats of my car.  How could I even hesitate?  This is where I'm at people.  I still have a LONG way to go.

I finally ended up buying the super cute dress.  But it took a whisper from the Spirit saying, "If you were buying for you're own daughter wouldn't you spend the extra two dollars?"

"Love your neighbor as yourself" -Matthew 22:39

Lord help me!