I'm running away

Today all 3 of my kids ran away from home.  While I was in the shower my son said through the door, "Lola's running away and I'm going with her to make sure she's safe".  "How cute" I thought.  See, Lola has been saying she's going to run away for the past week or so.  Every time she gets mad about something she gives me the "I'm running away" line.  So naturally I didn't really think they were running away when Jackson said what he said.

A few minutes after getting out of the shower I noticed how quiet it was.  I started looking around.  And a minute later Vivien ran in saying she needed a band aid for her toe.  I asked her where she was when she hurt her toe.  "On the road" she told me.  At this point I realized my kids were in fact walking down our road... running away from home.

We walked down our driveway, at the bottom of which I found a little pair of undies. A clue.  We walked about a quarter of a mile when we finally caught up with them, wagon packed with stuffed animals and crackers.

I wasn't sure how I felt.  I wasn't scared for some reason.  I just don't scare easily when it comes to my kids.  I always feel like they're going to be OK.  Honestly I was a little proud of their confidence.  However, I was frustrated, exasperated and angry at the same time.

A few hours later while sitting at a memorial service when I heard the "Still Small Voice" say, "How many times have you run away from home?"  Oh how true it is!!  I am constantly running away from my Heavenly Father.  He asks me to do something, I ignore Him.  He tells me to turn left, I go right.  Something goes wrong, I blame Him.  I scream, I cry, I yell "I'm running away!!"

A quote from my journal, "Sometimes I want to run really fast and really far" -July 19, 2012

So I tell my kids all of this.  I share my heart and I extend grace and I thank the Lord for His grace.  No matter how many times I run, He always welcomes me back with open arms

Running

Today I was at my Mom-in-law's house and I thought I heard my phone ringing at the other end of the house.  I literally started to run so I could catch the call in time.  Not because I was expecting an important call or anything, just because God forbid I miss a call.  Mid-run I thought to myself, "Why am I running?  What other things have me running unnecessarily?"

I'm quick when I hear my phone ring, but slow when I hear "Mom look at me!"

I'm quick to check Facebook every 5 minutes, but slow to spend even 5 minutes with Jesus.

I'm quick to pick up a donut, but slow to pick up a carrot.

I'm quick to sit on the couch, but slow to hop on my bike.

I'm quick to get angry, but slow to extend patience.

I'm quick to speak, but slow to listen.

I'm quick to feel guilty, but slow to accept grace.

It doesn't take a genius to figure out that whatever you're running towards is where you're going to end up.  And if I'm running quickly, I'm bound to get there faster.  I'm going in the wrong direction and I'm looking for the off ramp.

"Let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles.  And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of our faith."

                                        -Hebrews 12:1-2

"Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one get the prize?  Run in such a way as to get the prize."

                                          -1 Corinthians 9:24