Love your neighbor as yourself

Today I heard a woman say that same-sex marriage will destroy the marriage as a whole.  That it will cause the whole institution to deteriorate.

Why doesn't anyone say anything like this about infidelity?  Most of the marriages I've seen end in divorce have had an affair involved at some point.

You can't point the finger at one thing and say, "THAT is what's causing marriage to go downhill."  I don't know if this lady is a Christian, but it seems like whenever I hear about a group opposing same-sex marriage they are affiliated with Christians.

Christians associate themselves with Jesus and this is what Jesus says, "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye an pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye." -Matthew 7:3-5

I've never heard a testimony of someone coming to Jesus because someone said, "You're doing it wrong!"  But I've heard many testimonies about people being loved just the way they are and deciding, "I want that too!"

If we want to see change in our culture and strengthen marriages we need to take our cue from Jesus:

Jesus replied: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment.  And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the law and prophets hang on these two commandments." -Matthew 22:37-40

Love.

Stand still!

Today I had lunch at Costco with this little lady.

A tiny little pink croc-wearing 4 year-old.  She's funny and cute and and calls me mama and holds my hand.

While we were eating, a bunch of teenagers started filing in for lunch.  I watched them joke with each other, hold their boyfriends hands, look at other groups of teenagers and whisper.  I looked back at my cute little stripey girl eating her hot dog like a "Beaver" and thought "TIME, STAND STILL!!"  Don't let her get that old.  Don't let her have a boyfriend and don't let her be old enough to go to Costco by herself to have lunch.  Let her stay 4.

Then I said to her, "Viv, can you just stay 4?"  To which she replied, "I will be 4 forever... until my birthday next year."

A Real-Life Conversation with a 9 Year-old

Jackson: Don't you ever wish you had less kids?

Me: No, not at all.  Why?

Jackson: Because aren't we kind of annoying sometimes?

Me: Yes, but everyone is annoying sometimes.  Don't you think I'm annoying sometimes?

Jackson: VERY!!


Don't ask a question you don't want to know the answer to.

A Real-Life Conversation with a 4 Year-old

Viv: Mom, you know all the people who don't have houses?

Me: You mean homeless people?

Viv: Ya! I know what they could do. They could build houses.

Me: That's a good idea. But they don't have money to do that.  That's why they don't have a house

Viv: Well, how about tents? They could get tents.

Me: Where would they put their tents?

Viv: On grass.

Me: That's a great idea! What else can you think of to help.

Viv: Remember the guy at Shari's that we gave our sleeping bag to?

Me: Yes.

Viv: We should really get another sleeping bag because I want to sleep in one.

If I thought like a 4 year-old the world would be a better place.

Listen

I encountered God in a whole new way this weekend at the SHE Adventure.  By listening.  It's counter intuitive.  It requires being still.  Not just still in the body, still in the mind.  And getting the mind to be quiet and still is hard!

I had a woman approach me and say, "God has something to say to me and He told me He's going to speak it through you."  I have never had something like this happen.  My heart was pounding out of control!  I was scared to death!  What if I couldn't hear?  What if I said the wrong thing?

"This is what we have to learn right from the beginning: to listen to the voice of God in our heart, and then in the silence of the heart God speaks. Then from the fullness of our hearts, our mouth will have to speak. That is the connection. In the silence of the heart, God speaks and you have to listen. Then in the fullness of your heart, because it is full of God, full of love, full of compassion, full of faith, your mouth will speak." -Mother Teresa

This is what I had been reading the night before.  God was preparing me.  In fact, this is what I heard Him say in some quiet time right before the service where this woman came up to me.

"Be quick to listen and slow to speak.  Listen for what the Lord is telling you."

I listened, He spoke.

Slow down. Listen.

Readers are Leaders

I was not a big reader growing up. My best friend growing up Brooke (when I wrote her name just now I wrote "book" instead of Brooke.  How appropriate) loved to read.  She read so much that we would sometimes hide her books from her.

I wish my love of reading started back then.  I think of all the free time I had as a kid.  All the times I said, "I'm bored" and I could have been reading.  Now when I read there's a guilty feeling I'm neglecting other things, and I usually am.

I'm not sure how the love of reading is born.  Maybe it's different for everyone.  Here is an excerpt from an essay by Dr. Benjamin Carson, director of pediatric neurosurgery at the Johns Hopkins Children's Center

"My mother was a domestic.  Through her work, she observed that successful people spent a lot more time reading than they did watching television.  She announced that my brother and I could only watch two to three preselected TV programs during the week.  With our free time, we had to read two books each from the Detroit Public Library and submit to her written book reports.  She would mark them up with check marks and highlights.  Years later we realized her marks were a ruse.  My mother was illiterate; she had only received a third-grade education.

Although we had no money, between the covers of those books I could go anywhere, do anything, and be anybody."

How clever this woman was!  Maybe it starts with discipline and it turns into love.  That's how it started for me.  A few years ago a friend was telling me about the many books she was reading.  I asked how she had time.  She said she read instead of watching TV at night.  I tried it.  Slowly but surely my desire for books grew.  I'm pretty sure I even prayed for the Lord's help to want to read.  

I wonder if I could do this with my kids?  Restrict the TV, video games and computer.  And grow a love of reading in my home.

Do you like to read?

I'm running away

Today all 3 of my kids ran away from home.  While I was in the shower my son said through the door, "Lola's running away and I'm going with her to make sure she's safe".  "How cute" I thought.  See, Lola has been saying she's going to run away for the past week or so.  Every time she gets mad about something she gives me the "I'm running away" line.  So naturally I didn't really think they were running away when Jackson said what he said.

A few minutes after getting out of the shower I noticed how quiet it was.  I started looking around.  And a minute later Vivien ran in saying she needed a band aid for her toe.  I asked her where she was when she hurt her toe.  "On the road" she told me.  At this point I realized my kids were in fact walking down our road... running away from home.

We walked down our driveway, at the bottom of which I found a little pair of undies. A clue.  We walked about a quarter of a mile when we finally caught up with them, wagon packed with stuffed animals and crackers.

I wasn't sure how I felt.  I wasn't scared for some reason.  I just don't scare easily when it comes to my kids.  I always feel like they're going to be OK.  Honestly I was a little proud of their confidence.  However, I was frustrated, exasperated and angry at the same time.

A few hours later while sitting at a memorial service when I heard the "Still Small Voice" say, "How many times have you run away from home?"  Oh how true it is!!  I am constantly running away from my Heavenly Father.  He asks me to do something, I ignore Him.  He tells me to turn left, I go right.  Something goes wrong, I blame Him.  I scream, I cry, I yell "I'm running away!!"

A quote from my journal, "Sometimes I want to run really fast and really far" -July 19, 2012

So I tell my kids all of this.  I share my heart and I extend grace and I thank the Lord for His grace.  No matter how many times I run, He always welcomes me back with open arms