Thursday, February 23, 2012

Quitting hurry

I QUIT!!  I'm quitting hurry.  I'm quitting being rushed.  I'm sure I've said this before, but this time I'm really doing it.  I'm 95% sure if I died tonight and someone asked my kids what they remembered most about me they would say, "She was always in a hurry.  Always saying, 'Hurry up!' or 'Come on, we're gonna be late!'"  O.k. I'm kidding... but not really.

The worst part... nobody is making me hurry.  I do it to myself and to my poor kids.  And what am I hurrying for?  To feel important?  To look good?  To get church on time at the expense of my kids' feelings when I'm yelling at them to hurry up, and then try to walk in and look like we've been singing praise and worship with big smiles on our faces the whole drive there?  What a fraud!

I'm 30.  I look back and my 20's are a blur.  It could have to do with getting married and having three kids.  But I think it has to do with being in a hurry to get to the next phase in life.  So in a hurry that I forgot to enjoy the now.

No more.  I choose now.  No more hurry.  No more being in a rush.  If I'm a little late, that will just have to be o.k.  In a world that keeps speeding up, this girl is slowing down to enjoy the ride.

"There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under the heavens"
Ecclesiastes 3:1

Friday, February 10, 2012


Technically I am considered a "SAHM" (Stay-at-home-mom).  Although lately I haven't been doing a lot of staying at home.  This fact became very clear to me today as a shelf collapsed this afternoon in my mudroom.  The cause of the collapse?  Too much JUNK!

And it's not just the one shelf.  As I looked around there were crazy chaotic piles of random things all over the house.  I love my house, but honestly there are many times when I just want to be out of it so I don't have to face the STUFF that has taken over.  Plus I love being with people and being involved in lots of different things.  But at some point enough is enough.  I can't neglect my house forever.  This is my job and if I had a boss I would've been fired a long time ago.

It's time for this stay-at-home-mom to start staying at home.

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Day 3

Starting day 3 of the "7" food challenge.  I'm not gonna lie.  The first two days were rough.  Not terrible, but rough.  I am realizing that at least 50% of my daily energy is kept up by coffee.  I'm very grateful that my caffeine headache is subsiding and my mind is not as foggy as the past 2 days.

I'm also realizing how much emphasis I put on food and how large of a part it plays in my life.  It affects my mood and my activities.  Scary!  Thinking about doing something fun with my kids or going on a date with Matt, and the only ideas I can think of are food destinations.

With 2 days down and 28 to go I know I have a long road ahead.  But I am grateful for a great group of friends who are keeping me accountable, checking in with me, and most importantly, praying.  I couldn't do it without them.  Also, I'm so grateful that God sends bits of encouragement in other ways.  Like the song lyrics I heard yesterday:

"Impossible is not a word, it's just a reason not to try"

Friday, February 3, 2012

In the past 6 months I've read 4 books having to do with living a life that is marked by being completely head over heels for Jesus.  So head over heels that I have no choice but to travel on the "narrow road" that Jesus talks about.  The life that dies to self and lives to serve.  When I hear the word serve the first thing that comes to mind is "burnt out".  Because often times when I serve there is a part of me that is in it for me.  Let's be real, a LARGE part is in it for me.  And when "ME" is the goal, true satisfaction cannot come.  Because I'm greedy and there will always be something more I want.  I'll strive and strive to the point of burn out and never be satisfied.

The first 3 books I read are "Radical" by David Platt, "WEIRD: Because Normal Isn't Working" by Craig Groeschel, and "Same Kind of Different as Me" by Ron Hall and Denver Moore.  All INCREDIBLE books.  Each one had me staying up late and finding any minute I could to read.  The themes that kept coming up in each of these books:

  • Relationships are essential, the most important 
  • In order to live FULLY for Jesus, I have to die COMPLETELY to myself
  • It's not always easy, but it is always worth it     
My mind kept being pounded by these messages.  I knew there was a reason God kept bringing this up.  My excuse for not acting on it?  "These are all guys.  They're pastors and what not.  It's easy for them to do it.  They don't have kids to take care of all the time."

Well, last week God blew that excuse out of the water as I read "7: Experimental Mutiny Against Excess" by Jen Hatmaker.  She's a mom, she's a wife, she's a woman.  She speaks my language and I knew all my excuses were gone.

To say I was inspired by this book would be an incredible understatement.  A slightly different message than the other books, but the same themes as above.  The most important theme I found: less me, MORE GOD.  less take, MORE GIVE.

So, it's time to get to work.  "Let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of our faith." -Hebrews 12:1-2