Today all 3 of my kids ran away from home. While I was in the shower my son said through the door, "Lola's running away and I'm going with her to make sure she's safe". "How cute" I thought. See, Lola has been saying she's going to run away for the past week or so. Every time she gets mad about something she gives me the "I'm running away" line. So naturally I didn't really think they were running away when Jackson said what he said.
A few minutes after getting out of the shower I noticed how quiet it was. I started looking around. And a minute later Vivien ran in saying she needed a band aid for her toe. I asked her where she was when she hurt her toe. "On the road" she told me. At this point I realized my kids were in fact walking down our road... running away from home.
We walked down our driveway, at the bottom of which I found a little pair of undies. A clue. We walked about a quarter of a mile when we finally caught up with them, wagon packed with stuffed animals and crackers.
I wasn't sure how I felt. I wasn't scared for some reason. I just don't scare easily when it comes to my kids. I always feel like they're going to be OK. Honestly I was a little proud of their confidence. However, I was frustrated, exasperated and angry at the same time.
A few hours later while sitting at a memorial service when I heard the "Still Small Voice" say, "How many times have you run away from home?" Oh how true it is!! I am constantly running away from my Heavenly Father. He asks me to do something, I ignore Him. He tells me to turn left, I go right. Something goes wrong, I blame Him. I scream, I cry, I yell "I'm running away!!"
A quote from my journal, "Sometimes I want to run really fast and really far" -July 19, 2012
So I tell my kids all of this. I share my heart and I extend grace and I thank the Lord for His grace. No matter how many times I run, He always welcomes me back with open arms