small

Yesterday I walked under the Narrows Bridge for the first time.  I stood on the beach looking up at the two massive metal stuctures and I very much felt my true and actual size.

I am small.

I pretend not to be.  I try to make myself big.  I raise my voice loud to be heard; to seem big and in charge and in control.  I talk too much and too loud.  I wear clothes to be noticed.  I'm big and important in my mind... because I'm the only one there.

I realized I usually experience the bridge from a different perspective; up above.  I drive across it, almost daily, in my very large Suburban.  I look down on the world below and I feel big and untouchable.  But when I give up the big car and change my perspective and get into the low position I see how very small I am.  Towering cliffs and heavy trees and deep waters and giant bridges surround me.  And I am nothing and nothing makes me big and it feels right.