Today I was cleaning out my bookshelves and came across a few old journals. I love journals! I love writing things down. It's like therapy for me to get thoughts and feelings out on a piece of paper. I especially like writing down prayers. It keeps me focused.
I flipped through and read some of the entries. Some made me laugh, some made me cringe, and some made me feel embarrassed. Most of all, reading them made me feel like I was on a roller coaster. One day I would be high, happy and praising the Lord. And the next entry I'd be low, crying out or throwing a fit right there on the page.
I put them away and started to think, "what is wrong with me?!" How can I be so up can down? I'm a mess and my journals prove it. I considered throwing them away, but I couldn't. They're from when my kids were born and there are great answers to prayer in there. Just as my thoughts were beginning to get the best of me the word "Psalms" popped into my head.
Immediately I was comforted. Even David, the man after God's own heart, had highs and lows. And he wrote them down too! Psalm 21:1 says, "The king rejoices in your strength, Lord. How great is his joy in the victories you give!" Only to be followed by Psalm 22:1, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, so far from my cries of anguish?"
It's nice to know I'm not the only one. God knows us better than we'll ever know ourselves. He loves us on our lowest day just as much as he loves us on our highest day. This is a mystery to me, but I am forever grateful.